Britains Most stupid Creature

What is Britain's most stupid creature?

I give you the sheep... notice that with sheep you can have one sheep, four sheep or a flock of sheep, there is no plural because the the collective intelligence does not alter..

This is actually a silly question, Sheep are actually the stupidest creature whether that animal is in Britain or not. In a recently arranged international charity chess match organised by myself in Amsterdam (where else would one find the appropriate facilities and obtain a license), a snail comprehensively out-thought a Devon white face (seen above) who responded in an admittedly noble way by eating its own King and therefore forfeiting the match (the writing was on the wall after the snail had taken whites Queens Bishop).

The real reason that the sheep takes the proverbial idiots biscuit is this...all herd animals (on earth) when confronted by bad weather (wind, rain etc) walk into the wind, this means that although they face some short term discomfort eventually they will happen upon an obstacle, be it a wall or a bush, which will provide them some protection from the weather and serve as a rudimentary shelter -that's clever...that's what evolution ought to provide..

Sheep however, walk away from the wind, they try to escape (I have recently noticed this sheep like tendency in Prime Minister Gordon brown with regards to the economy...), this means that they too will eventually come up against an obstacle but in there case this then prevents them moving any further 'away' from the wind and they become trapped, and therefore victims...this is not clever..what is the evolutionary purpose behind this? Is the universe actually trying to rid itself of sheep...have we intervened without understanding the consequences of our actions..no wonder the ice caps are melting...

Below we have a demonstration of Men and Dogs (you can see the scorn on the dogs faces you really can) having to deal with the consequences of idiot sheep following a overnight snow, having followed the direction of the wind they ensured that they would find themselves in a snow drift from which they are unable to remove themselves..

Not only this but anyone who has ever driven on 'open moorland' will tell you that the sheep is entirely unaware of the dangers of the motorcar, this despite regularly watching other sheep pummelled underneath the wheels... also why do sheep 'flock' like birds instead of herd like other decent farm animals? Its a bloody disgrace!

There is however, recently arrived to Britain, another four legged animal which looks like it will be able to compete with the sheep in terms of stupidity, it is know simply as a Paris Hilton.

I have yet to see the reaction of this (admittedly tidy) beast when faced with foul weather and I am hoping to arrange a chess match against my 'Kasparov' snail...watch this space

Could this creature relive the sheep of its title?