I may return

Its been on my mind for a while, I have lots of evolution to discuss, I may return...

Lands End to John O'Groats

As part of my ongoing quest to spend all the money I ever earn almost as soon as I earn it, I have agreed to cycle to John O'Groats (well far away place in Scotland) from Lands End (distant place in Cornwall) to raise money for the Paralympics GB team.

As a result I have been allowed to buy a bike...

Yes, its a little bit bling but I can just about carry that off...I think

Training has been going well, from sedate rides on my own listening to 5 LIVE chat shows, to duo rides stopping off for coffee and carrot cake to Good Fridays escapade where I inadvertently stopped halfway to drink 3 pints of Golden Sheep Ale...

Great little mugs they had to, despite the misleading branding, it was all had  in a glorious little pub in the village of Ashwell (Bedfordshire?), which, to its immense credit, alongside the normal quotes from important old philosophers had the following quoter painted on its welcoming walls...

Well quite.......

Another attempt at resurrection

This then will be a further attempt to resurrect my blog.

I have been (I would claim) reasonably busy since my last post. For example I attended a career medical board in march, the  sole purpose of which was to decide my future career options - permanently, sadly for all involved the result was a 6 month deferral, which was odd for several reasons..

18 months ago whilst enjoying a holiday overseas I developed an eye condition, specifically the Herpes Simplex Virus (Optical) which is of course related to all the other hideous forms of herpes, although a closer sibling to the Cold sore than those other nasty lesions that appear in dark sweaty holes.

The immediate question is of course how? I had previously considered my hobby a harmless way to pass a few hours, but it turns out that in certain countries using your eyeball to clean the rim of public toilets can have nasty consequences...my hobby has now been adjusted and I use a sterilised finger.

The point being that this condition is permanent, this means according to a source: "existing or intended to exist for an indefinite period, a permanent structure, not expected to change for an indefinite time; not temporary"

This permanence was stressed to me by the consultant and backed up by my own (albeit Internet based) research. The conversation with the medical board was therefore a surprise;

Frightfully important (because it seems he is old) man sat in the middle of 3 frightfully important men to me:

"We have decided to defer the board for a year in order to see how the condition develops, are you happy with that?"

Me, tentatively :

"Umm, no not really I don't really understand the logic, I was hoping for a firm decision, given the conditions permanent nature I am not sure what can be gained by a years wait"

Important old man:

"Oh I see, well, the board feels that we would not want to make a decision on your condition until you have not had a re-occurrence for at least a year"

Me, not wanting to push the conversation into farce by going down the permanent route, but nevertheless determined to seek resolution without waiting a year:

"Oh, well I had my last an attack last July, so this July would be the year point perhaps then?"

Old man :

"Oh, well I see, good point, but we would not want to see you again after only 3 months (for why?), so what about we call it 6 months?"

Greeted to general nodding from his two accomplices. At this point it was beginning to dawn on me that the timescales being bandied about had not been the subject of much medical deliberation but were it seems being rapidly plucked out of the learned gentleman's arse...

Me, a little perplexed:

"I see, well, its just that, I'm no expert - clealry, and may not have the specialist knowledge of the board but I struggle to see what the purpose of a 6 month deferral when dealing with a permanent condition, which is well, permanent and therefore not likely to have changed much in 6 months time due to its inherently permanent nature, if you understand my meaning"

Man :

"Hmmm, whilst I can understand your desire to see this matter resolved, regrettably it is this boards considered medical opinion that the case is best served if deferred for a 6 months period"

Me:

No sound at this point, I have a certain awareness about shutting up when it comes to dealing with faintly mental people, I just tried to rearrange my facial features to suggest something along the lines of - Fair enough, I know when I am dealing with a bunch of idiots - I concede.

And off I went, deferred until October, or 3 weeks time at the time of writing, my consultant has written a more explicit recommendation to the board this time, along the lines (literally) of:

'I have re-examined Hogblower, I can confirm that the permanent medical condition I diagnosed last year persists -as is the nature of permanent conditions. This condition is permanent and will remain so permanently.'

brilliant.

I wonder what will happen when I attend the next board.....

Losing my Religion

I have recently been driven to evolving my previously static thoughts on the whole complicated and often controversial God Issue. Having been brought up a 'major catholic' and if truth be told been a little 'hard-line' in my past, I had settled into a giving the whole debate what can only be described as a stiff ignoring. The arrival of my children at a questioning age means I have had to develop a position....

And here, at the moment are my current thoughts...

To begin with I have nothing against the Catholic Faith per se, but as I hope to explain  I am against the whole idea of faith ‘handed down’ through the generations.  I fundamentally believe that there are universal moral ideals of right and wrong, from which we as humans have developed our sense of justice. The origin of this deep seated feeling may well be a higher spiritual power, and although I have no proof, I believe deep down there to be a higher power of some sort who loves creation with an unconditional love.

This unconditional love is important and is one of the main reasons that whilst I accept a higher power, I reject all forms of organised conditional religion as a mechanism to access this higher power. All religions claim the truth, demand  strict conditions and have been created by men to control men (and more often than not to subjugate women) – is that really the way to access an unconditional source of love?  I argue that the source of most of the misery in the world is fundamental belief which refuses to compromise and rejects reason. This fundamental beliefs main weapon in order to succeed is always faith. Be it the Nazis, the Communists, the Catholic Church, Muslims, Cults, Masons, Evangelicals or Green Peace; all base their arguments ultimately on faith in the absence of compelling evidence to support their assertions. I also reject other ‘faith’ based practises which have no basis in fact, such as the majority of alternative medicine, the occult, faith healers, spiritualists etc.   

In order to embed this faith within the followers of the movement a variety of psychological practises are used, ceremony, precedence, authority, social proof etc, by far one of the most insidious ways that this brainwashing occurs is by targeting children before they have the mental capacity to make their own choices.  I myself have suffered with this during my upbringing.  By associating my love for my Mum and hers for me with a belief in Catholicism (the same can be said for the love of God), reinforced by schooling I was prevented from making my own choices as to what I believed until after my mum died and I was freed from the guilt to make my own choices. It was deeply unfair that I was made to feel guilty and uncomfortable whilst learning about evolution, physics or the history of the universe (which is wondrous) because I felt I was betraying my mum’s belief in 7 day creation etc – I will see no such intellectually stifling guilt passed onto my children.  Since making my way in the world I have seen many horrors visited upon human beings by their fellow human beings, I believe that certain behaviours are right and certain are wrong, and all of us deep down understand the difference (unless they are sociopaths).  A persons actions should be judged by the actions alone, too often under the banner of religion or fundamental belief as I prefer to call it, I have witnessed evil deeds performed by misguided good men and evil men excusing evil in religions name; The Croatian Catholics, evil people using the ‘catholic church’ to do good by ethnically cleansing villages, the misguided suicide bomber, often an  ordinary children with a good heart perverted by fundamentalism into killing innocents.

 History is littered with such examples from Gulag death squads to the Cathar Crusade, mankind using their faith to justify what they deep down know to be wrong – only fundamental belief can do this. The roasted pork my Muslim friend Bash avoids because it feels wrong is part of the same ‘faith’ which led to the twin towers, as soon as reason is dispelled all is possible from witch hunts to the final solution, people must think for themselves and take responsibility.  I spoke at length to Mullahs in Afghanistan, often good men but clearly a major part of the problem within that society, to me they were clearly misguided even tragically comical. However, I thought this because they were alien to my culture, had I been born in a Muslim family (a random act of fate) I would have had a completely different view on their ‘madness’.  An Afghan expressed amusement to me about our own Anglican padre who they thought was crazy and confused – the only difference between us was the cultural prism through which the different fundamental beliefs were viewed.  I did get the children christened but for cultural and family reasons in the same way I enjoy Christmas and Bonfire night,  it is part of who we are as a family- this may well be an example of gross hypocrisy for which I apologise but do not regret.  

My Children will grow up (I hope) to respect life and act according to a deep seated sense of right and wrong, an ability to asses ideas and situations individually based on the evidence available and take full responsibility for their actions -they do not require a priest / rabbi / guru / pastor or mullah to do this. If when they are adults they wish to explore any faith they will do so forearmed with critical thinking and mature emotions.  I believe believe in a higher power and am happy with my access to it.

Regards

My Nanny

My Nanny died today after a good innings, 95 and out....

I can run no more....
The rain and wind, the sun will no longer kiss my skin.
I have seen my last sunset, heard my last laugh, told my last tale.
Tasted my last fruit and drained my final glass.
No longer will I hear the crunch beneath my feet on a frosty lawn,
Nor see the boats returning to the harbour wall.
The ticking clock is still.

How will I survive?
What have I become?
I am a thousand smiles and endless sunrise,
I am the joy and wonder of the world,
Through you I will go on.
A final request,
Live for me.